Tuesday, September 17, 2013

That One Time I Joined a Dating Website...


I did.

One time, I was bored, I mean REALLY bored. I saw the LDS Planet ad on my facebook. I casually wondered over. I thought it would be funny to join and read people's profiles and just check out the scene. Then my dear friend Kendra stepped in. With a cheesy line she convinced me to join for a month. I agreed somewhat hesitantly, but curious. What would it be like?

I had 4 unread messages when I activated my account. I was a little disappointed to see they were all close to 40 or older. That was when I realized, older men like younger women. And being 21 is quite an appealing age for said men. But still, I was shocked that a 70 year old widower favorited my profile. His "about me" section ended with this statement, "willing to relocate for the right gal." Now, I've always wanted to be a widow at 25, but he didn't say how much money he makes so I just disregarded the notification all together. ;)

As another blogger so casually stated, online dating websites are for recently divorced people to flex their social muscles in a more guarded environment. Unfortunately, I've found or been contacted by A LOT of 23 to 25 year olds who have been married and divorced already. As if I wasn't already terrified of divorce, I'm more so now!

Back to "older men," a lot of them seem to be on the defense about their age. One guy at 36 messaged me asking if I would date a guy in his mid-thirties because he didn't want to "rob the cradle." I laughed a little at the statment and how straightforward it was, and answered him honestly saying that I would prefer to date someone 10 years older than me at the most. I wished him luck in his search and figured I wouldn't hear from him again. How wrong I was. Another message followed: "I totally understand. It has been tough to find a girl that has not already been married and/or has children. Not that it matters but I would like to take the journey thru marriage to preferably be w/ someone that has not been married before. The fact that my winter home is in Scottsdale & my summer home is in Utah makes it tough as well because every 6 months I alternate back & forth. Thanks for your reply. If u decide that age is simply just a number (with age comes experience no doubt) then I would love to keep in touch. Thanks!" Maybe he was trying to guilt me into responding again, but though I feel bad, I have to stand my ground. Another line I hear a lot is, "What is age to the eternities?" Oh, how I wish I could have such an eternal perspective. I think the age gap gets smaller as you age, but since I've only seen 21 years, I feel the age gap gaping wide between us. It's a reality I can't ignore.

Some people are less than tactful online. I was on the website when a chat box appeared and some guy started talking to me. It happens sometimes and it usually results in interesting stories. This time did not disappoint. The casual, "Hi, how are you's" were exchanged and then out of no where he asks, "Are you shy?" I responded in the negative. The following question was just WEIRD. "Have you ever waxed?"


Have I ever waxed!?

Come on!

"Um.... No..... That's a weird question."

"My friend is studying to be an esthetician and she needs some practice."

"Well, Idaho is a long way to drive just to get a wax."

"Sorry if I offended you. I am bold."

Obviously. The next few questions got weird and sort of inappropriate so I stopped talking to him altogether after that.

I also learned that some people make their username their real name. They express interest and I find them on Facebook. Usually, it's bad for them because I can get a real idea of who they are as a person and it makes me 100% not interested. Like the guy who made a comment about never getting along with his room mates. His mom said something about him needing to look within himself to see if he is the problem to which he totally freaked out at her. Cute. This is why I fully believe the best way to meet someone is in person without any preconceived notions. Online dating is all about the perceptions you read, and since you have to be careful online, you have to use proper judgement. Yes, that judgement can be harsh, but you can't be too careful.

So, yeah. There are weird people out there, but even so, this has been good for me. I mean, really. Guys have been interested in me, told me I am beautiful, I have a cute smile, etc. and it's been nice to hear. Another guy I've been talking to, who I might add is 27 (within normal age parameters), said something really profound that fit perfectly with my situation. He said, "Achievers are not perfectionists, they are improvisers." So, though I am going to end my membership when the month runs out, it has been a great learning experience and I feel good about trying it out at least once. I've also, learned that there are some real weirdos out there. And that is why I love the internet.

1 comment:

  1. :) haha Chris turns 27 in January so i'm glad you deemed that "within normal age parameters." I LOVE that you have these funny experiences to share