Moving Forward

Everyone I talk to is aware of how much I love China because I could gush for hours about it. The hardest part of coming home has been to move forward. Each day I'm more and more aware of the distance that is coming between my time in China and where I am now. In 3 short days, I will have been home a whole month, but it feels like a lifetime.

My older sister and I plan to go to China again next summer to visit the land we both love so much. Because of that, I pushed hard to get back into life so I can prepare to return in less than a year. I am working as a server at a restaurant and I picked up a job as a nanny. My main concern is that with school, two jobs will be too much. However, if I don't get financial aid like I need, I will be paying full tuition so two jobs will be the only way for me to get back to China after two semesters. I hope that I can bear the weight and get my associates as planned in the spring and celebrate with a trip to China.

When I have a rough day or start to feel homesick for China, I think of what I need to do to get there again. China is my motivation. China is how I move forward without forgetting the past. I think of all my friends who are there. I think of the promise I made when I left that I would come back soon. I think of my small, beautiful Chinese family that claimed me when I began to tutor their son. I think of the beautiful children in a small village who stole a piece of my heart.  I think of the boss of our favorite restaurant who greeted us with a smile and a wave each time we rounded the corner. I think of the foreigners I met from all over the world that are still there (and I feel a little jealous).

I never appreciated technology so much until I went to China and email was my main contact with friends and family. I appreciate it even more now because it keeps me connected to the people I love 6,000 miles away by the Chinese equivalent to MSN Messenger called QQ.

No words can describe how deeply I love China. No words can describe the emptiness in my heart. I feel incomplete without China. I didn't have to go to China, but I chose to. It was the best decision I have made in my life and my eyes have been opened in so many ways. It has changed me and my future forever.

I want to tell you about my Chinese friends and family.

Richard (王彬彬)

Richard was my first Chinese friend. We met in Hong Kong because Brad, one of the guys teaching in Nanjing with us brought him on the group tour. His English is excellent. From the very start, I just loved him. We connected. He made me laugh, smile, and when I needed someone to lean on, he would let me lean on him. He would often put his arm around me and tell me I was different than the other people in our group. He could sense my deep love for China and it connected us even more. He is my "brother" and I miss him so much. We have video chatted and QQed many times since coming home and the most common phrase we both use is, "I miss you."

Tony (王刚)

Tony is another great "brother." He also has fantastic English. We met because Richard's best friend Alan came to hang out with us and he brought all his roommates, Tony being one of them. One day, I was telling Tony on QQ that I was planning to go with my friend to the Nanjing Massacre Museum. He thought that we needed a guide and in his forceful Chinese way, he convinced me that we did in fact, need a guide. We met them at the metro stop near the museum and Tony and his friend asked if we had eaten. Because we were still new to the country, we made the mistake of saying we were hungry. This led us to a restaurant where they bought us food to eat despite our protests and attempts to hand them money. After walking through the museum (which was really sad and depressing) we took the metro to the stop nearest our apartment building. After the metro, we had a 10-20 minute walk and we talked the whole way about American TV and other funny things. We joked and laughed so much. After that, any time spent with Tony was completely full of laughter. He is crazy and quirky, but really smart. He studies hard, but always made time to come play with the foreigners. We have also videoed and QQed and "I miss you" is often used.

William (扬文键)

William sat next to me on the bus one day. I could tell he wanted to talk to me so I pulled out my headphone and patiently waited until he was ready. Near the end of the bus ride, he leaned over to show me a text he had typed in English. It read, "Hey beauty. I want to be your friend but don't have a deal. Can you give me your phone number?" I don't know what he meant by "don't have a deal." but I held back a laugh and told him I have a QQ number so he added me on QQ. We talked a lot on QQ and at first, he would make comments about how he wanted me to  go on a date with him or he wanted to take me to dinner. As time went on, that died out because I always deflected it with comments about going with all the foreigners so he could meet us all. His English name was Young because his Chinese last name is Yang. One day he asked for an English last name. I suggested changing Young to his English last name and putting William as his first. He liked it a lot and always introduced himself as William Young. I call him Will, but I'm the only one he is okay with calling him that. Otherwise, he prefers to be called by William. After a month of just QQ, I felt strongly that it was time to get him over to hang out with us. So I invited him to come to KTV (karaoke) with us. He was so nervous and excited. After saying goodbye that night, he told me how much he loves our culture. We laugh and have fun together more than his Chinese friends do. He wanted to be a part of it as much as he could. After that, we hung out every weekend the remainder of my time in China. He has become a wonderful friend and someone I care so much about. His English is coming along really well and we talk a lot about when I come back to China. He wants to show me his hometown and meet his family. I miss him so much and when he has time, we QQ also.

Shirley (王菲）

Richard liked Shirley and he brought her to our big birthday bash for him and Brad. It was near the end of my time in China, but we both immediately liked each other. We talked openly to each other that day about matters of the heart and became fast, good friends. I wasn't able to see her much after meeting her, but one morning, we went hiking to the top of a small mountain in Nanjing together. It was fun and made our friendship much stronger. We often talk on QQ and encourage each other in our lives.

Guo Ying

Guo Ying is my Chinese sister. One day, my friend got a text message from someone who was in her contact list from the person who used her phone before from a previous group that came through the same program. It was Guo Ying looking for someone to tutor her 3 year-old son. I don't think it was a coincidence that my friends phone was the only phone in our group with the same SIM card as the previous user. My friend already had a tutoring job so she told me about this one. After making contact with the Foreign Affairs office at the school, we arranged to meet. I took a taxi to her apartment and she met me at the gate. Right away, I loved her. We went into the apartment and met Mickey, the little boy I would tutor. He came up to me and gave me a BIG hug. He then chatted non-stop to me in Chinese calling me 美国老师 which means American teacher. We spent an hour sitting on the floor in his playroom looking at little flash cards and a book. He ran around throwing things and showing me his toys intermittently while telling me what the picture was in English. Mickey is adorable and I hate being away and missing him growing up. The other half of the time, Guo Ying told me traditional Chinese stories and explained some history to me or taught me new Chinese words. Guo Ying and her husband then took me to the Confucius Temple shopping area. In the car on the way there, Mickey kissed me right on the lips and told me he loved me. It was so sweet, but a little alarming at the same time. At the temple, they bought me gifts and told me about the history of the area. All the time, Guo Ying told me that I must call her sister and that we were having a party to welcome me to their family. They then took me out to an expensive restaurant where we celebrated and toasted me into the family. After lunch, she made me sit and get my nails painted. They spoiled me and made me feel so special. Almost every time I went to tutor, Guo Ying and I would go out to dinner after or sit and talk for a bit. One day, I told her I needed some new clothes. We arrange to go shopping together. We went to the center of the city and walked through store after store. She bought dinner (boiled duck intestines and blood) and made us try other traditional Chinese snacks. Then she bought dessert. I was SO full since I made the mistake of eating before going. When I didn't find anything I liked while shopping, she sent me a list of links for shopping online. I told her what I liked and she ordered them for me. When they arrived at her house, she brought them to me. Finally, when I arrived at her house for the last time, she gave me an expensive comb and brush set and we cried and hugged several times. Then she owed me just 50 yuan and instead, she handed me a 100 yuan banknote. When I tried to give her some change, she wouldn't take it. She said over and over, "I will very miss you. You must come back soon. China very miss you. Mickey very love you. You must come back to your Chinese family. Your Chinese family wait you come back." It was heart wrenching.


These people play a big roll in why I love China so much. I miss it with my whole heart and I can't wait to go back. I couldn't talk too much about moving on in the blog post because it's obvious that I haven't moved on. But I am trying to fill the emptiness until I go back.

Jet Lag... Not So Fun

I'm home from 5 months of heaven. When you live halfway across the world, it changes you in ways you can't ever describe. It's something everyone needs to experience on their own. I love China more than I ever thought possible. The people are incredible, the culture is incredible, and my experience there was incredible.   I made friends I want to have forever and I learned things I will have forever. I love China so much that I'm going back, maybe not for five months, but at least to visit the people I love so much. I'm addicted to the best place on the planet.

My time in China took me all over the country. It's huge. I mean, HUGE. You never realize how big the world is until you spend 20 hours on a train that takes you across only half of one country. There is so much to see in this world. I've always dreamed of going places in Europe, but now, if I have money to go abroad, I won't be going to Europe, Africa, or South America. I'll be going to Asia. I'll be going to China.

A little blog post can never and will never begin to be the place I express my feelings for China because there isn't a language on this planet that can accurately describe how I feel about China. It's special. Don't worry, I still love America, too. I haven't forgotten my country.

Anyway, jet lag. It's not so fun. I'm only going to complain for a second and then I'll move on.  When I really want to sleep, I know I can't. When I really need to sleep, I can't. Sometimes, when I take a nap, I wake up ten times more exhausted and disoriented. Awful. The end.

I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to go to China. It was a dream come true and so life changing. I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing me to go, for helping me to get there, and for answering all my prayers and showing me his hand in China. I can never thank Him enough for the most amazing experience of my life. Heavenly Father loves his children. He really loves them all. I wish you could see how present he is in China. He's there. He's really there.

Thank you to all the people who emailed me and supported me while I was in China. It meant the world to me that you were willing to listen to me blab about how much I love it. I hope you can get used to hearing about China more because I won't be forgetting about it any time soon. Thank you for your love. I love you back!

China Blog!

Hey everyone! So I leave for China in just 20 days! I have created a blog just for my adventures in China. This will be my main contact since China blocks most social networks. Click here: China On The Inside

Merry Chirstmas!

Christmas time can be so busy! I've felt more stressed this year at Christmas time than ever before. As think of all the things I'm trying to do and the money I'm trying to make, I feel like I haven't had as much time to think about Jesus Christ and his birth. None the less, I've been leaning quite heavily on my Savior lately and he has been a big part of my life.

I work at a restaurant and lately, they've cut everyone's hours. Go figure right? Christmas time and they cut hours. I've been working about half as many hours as I need so I've been picking up tons more shifts at my second job where usually, I'm just a substitute when someone goes out of town. Not only that, but I've been babysiting and people have paid me to wrap presents for them. China and school are expensive just by themselves, but put them both together and you have a lot of money... Heavenly Father promised to bless me and I've been blessed in a lot of ways, but I've had to work to receive those blessings. I've learned a lot and really had to push the stress levels down a lot. Things work out, but only if you do your part. I have to admit I am really ready to just take a day off of everything to relax. I'm so grateful to all the people who have been supportive and willing to help me out. I couldn't ask for better friends and family.

Just one month and two days until I go to China with my best friend! It's coming so fast! I remember when I first decided to go. It was over a year ago now. It's been a long time coming. I remember when I learned our departure date and it was four months away. How time has flown! I feel so unprepared to go and there are so many things to consider and put together before I leave. Not only that, but I'm anticipating being really homesick like I am every time I move away. I know it will be completely worth it and I plan on emailing and skypeing tons and tons. I think it will really help to have my best friend with me also. When I was at the resort, I felt much more at home once I had made good friends.

I hope that everyone has felt loved and cared for this Christmas season as I have. I also hope that it hasn't been too stressful and that you've thought of Jesus and his birth as he is the reason for the season. Merry Christmas to you all!

Happy Late Thanksgiving!

Okay, I know that Thanksgiving was two days ago, but I just really wanted to write a post about people and things I love and am grateful for.

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ: For all the tender mercies they grant me, loving me unconditionally, blessing me with all the wonderful things I have in my life, sending me the spirit, answering prayers, giving me opportunities to grow and learn, sending me trials, sending me wonderful people, always being there so I don't feel alone.

My Parents: For supporting me, letting me live my dreams, laughing at me when I do dumb things, letting me live with them, listening to my worries and concerns even if they are trivial or dumb, loving me, working hard, teaching me good things and helping me live the gospel.

My siblings: For teasing me non-stop, helping me to laugh at myself, playing games and talking, being great examples, acting like crazies.

My best friend: For listening to everything I say, understanding me, making me laugh like no one else can, reminding me to be silly sometimes, going to China with me so I don't have to go alone, being a great example, teaching me, going to Barnes and Noble with me, being my best friend.

My friends: For skipping classes with me, texting me in class, doing crazy things with me, watching movies and quoting kid history, listening to my music and pretending to like it, listening to me and understanding me, sticking with me through the years, always being there, being great examples of faith and love, laughing at me.

Work: Ideally, I would just be rich and not need to work, but I am so grateful to be able to work for the things I want like school and China. I'm grateful that I have a job where I have friends and good managers who keep things uplifting and positive and make me feel like a winner. :)

School: I'm not thankful for homework, but I'm so glad I can go to school and learn. I love being able to learn new things and become a better person. I am grateful that I can pay for my education and that my teachers are so nice and understanding.

America: Freedom to practice whatever religion I want, to say what I want, and to be what I want. I love America and the freedoms I enjoy. I am proud to be an American!

Money: I know, this is so shallow, but I am so grateful for money because it teaches me a lot. Paying for school and China has been hard, but I'm so glad that I had to work for those things. You work hard for things that are important to you.

China: I am so glad China exists so I can go spend five months teaching English with my best friend. :)

I am so blessed and overwhelmed with everything in my life. Life isn't perfect, but it sure is wonderful!

Happy Holidays!

Life Sure Is Crazy!

Hello! Long time no see/type? So here's just an update on the things going on in my life.

I'm going to Weber State full time where I'm working towards my Elementary Education degree (and not even half way yet). I work 20 to 30 hours a week at a restaurant where I try to make enough money to pay for expensive tuition and payments for China.

I leave for China to teach English for 5 months on January 30th with my best friend. I will spend a few days touring Hong Kong before going to my assigned school, which I will be informed of in December. I'm beyond excited since I've been wanting to go for over a year and it's finally happening! :)

I have the best friends anyone could ask for. They are good people, they help me be a better person and help me out when I need them. I can't say how glad I am to have them. They text me while I'm bored in class, watch movies with me, and follow me when I decide to go somewhere on a whim.

I love my family so much, they are so supportive of everything going on. I love sitting down with my mom and updating her on all things school, boys, work, and friends. I know my family members all love me and care about what goes on in my life. I love them all very very much.

I'm a member of the Welcoming Committee in my ward and I haven't really gotten a chance to do much yet, but I'm really excited to meet all the new people that come into the ward and make some new friends to add to the other wonderful friends.

After coming back from working at the resort, I felt a little like a different person. I'm more adventurous and spontaneous. I'm more me, and I have gotten to where I like myself for who I am.

Life is definitely going uphill right now and I'm grateful to be out of the slumps I was in at the beginning of the year. I'm very blessed in all aspects of my life. It helps to be postive when things get hard, because they still do sometimes. Either way, I love Heavenly Father and Jesus very much and I'm trying very hard to please them. I have so much, how could I forsake them?

Homework Protocol

If you happen to be writing a paper for English, this is how it must be done.

1. Get on Facebook.
2. Pull up the Word Perfect, if you are up to date unlike me, you pull up Microsoft Word
3. Check email.
4. Type in header and other required info (Name, date, teacher, class.)
5. Find a reason to type something in the blog.
6. Watch the new Kid History Episode
7. Think, "Oh yeah I have to write that paper!" And go write the title and one sentence before going back to facebook one more time.

I know that it takes ten times longer to write the paper this way, but it's a lot more entertaining. Cheers!

Weber State, Weber State, Great, Great, Great!

First week of school as a transfer student at Weber: Success!

On the first day of school, I got really confused trying to find my health education class. Turns out it's in the gym building of all places and I didn't realize that. I kept thinking, "That's the wrong building!"

The bus ride is 1 hour and fifteen minutes.

I only go Monday Wednesday Friday. Perfect!

I come home from school completely ravenous.

College is the PERFECT place to people watch. You wouldn't believe the things people do. Also the bus.

I like big libraries and Weber State's library fits those qualifications. I've already checked out some books. :)

There were people praying in the middle of the bookstore.

I got a free water bottle! Three cheers for free stuff!

My history teacher has something against ANY other college except Weber. If you wear other colleges clothing, he will "slap it off you."

I only have to take one or two finals at end of semester. The rest are papers and that is CAKE!

This semester is going to be fun!

Weber State, Weber State, Great! Great! GREAT!

Things I'll miss

I go home from working at Zion Ponderosa in less than a week and it makes me a little sad. I will miss a lot of things about this place.

• The completely amazing people I have been able to meet and become friends with.
• Being able to go into Zion National Park any time day or night.
• The stars and the milky way.
• Zion Canyon at night.
• Sleeping under the stars.
• Staying up all hours of the night talking and watching movies with friends.
• Swimming in the AWESOME pool.
• Spontaneous fun.
• Doing all kinds of fun things for free. I.E. Four wheeling, horseback riding, canyoneering, jeep tours etc.
• Talking to people from all over the world.
• 30 min. phone calls with guests. NOT.
• All the activities at the resort. IE Bonfires, volleyball, night hikes, rodeos.
• Hiking
• Bunny rabbit hunting
• Driving up North Fork Road way too fast because we all know the road so well.
• Getting huge tips from people.
• Radio conversations. "Did you order something for Zion Ponderoa" "Ponderow row row your boat!"
• Joy riding in the golf carts.
• Telling people the story of Jolley and touring Jolley's Cabin.
• Days at the pool

Things I will not miss:

• Mountain goats and tourists. NOT a good combination.
• Wal-Mart is an hour away.
• The meal plan. The food was fine, but I like to be able to cook for myself.
• Working and missing out on awesome stuff. :(
• Missing my family and friends back home.
• No cellphone service
• Annoying guests. "Zion Ponderosa this is Sarah." "Hi, is this Zion Ponderosa?"
• Long car rides

Zion Ponderosa, I will miss you!

Golf Cart Madness

Today at work, I rented a golf cart out to a customer and her sons. She wanted me to show her how to drive it. It went a little like this:
Me: Okay, here is the gas peddle, if you push this knob all the way to the left, it will put the cart into drive.
Lady: Like this? (She then drives up over the curb onto the grass screaming until she found the brake)
Me: Yes, like that.
Sons: I think we'll walk.